I lived in a closet for 8 months and now I’m woke

It’s July, you’re armed with a fresh-off-the-press art school degree and just enough money to feed yourself for a little while. What do you to?

            >Move to New York City.

Great! You’ve made a plan. Kind of. What next?

            >Find a place on Gypsy Housing.

Score! The mecca of affordable and *cozy bedrooms across Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Queens. There’s so many listings and so little time, what can you possibly do?

            >Go with the fellow SCAD grads. You can trust a SCAD bee.

You’ve deposited July and August rent, as well as your security deposit. Your bank account is screaming, begging, wailing for mercy. Power bars have been stolen from the parents pantry and stashed away in a suitcase. Your mom, cat, and 2 suitcases accompany your journey into La Guardia. A 30 minute Uber ride later, you roll up to the address listed on the Gypsy Housing post.

            >It looks like a crack house

            >You meet the homeless guy in the hallway

            >You are fairly certain it is a crack house

            >You accept that this is your new life

The apartment is new and **renovated. It is tiny, it is clean, the two roommates are ***nice. Then you see your “bedroom”. It is the size of your previous bedroom walk-in closet. A tiny window looks out into the light well and living room. There’s just enough room to fit a twin bed, a body, and a tiny dresser. You –

            >Panic and cry / or / laugh at how cozy it is / or / catch the next flight home

You live in the crack house, in a bedroom made for ants, for 8 months. Then one day, you lose it. Call the management company. Demand to be let out of the lease. Kick and scream. Get let out of the lease. Sign on a better apartment. Bring your lovely roomies and cat along with you. And settle into a bedroom with a closet, a window, and a bit of space to walk around.

You now appreciate normal apartment dwelling. A hallway without a squatter is a marvelous hallway indeed. You are elated to purchase closet hangers. You are proud of your new, clean, average housing situation. You are woke.

Friends and fam, the tenants of the Himrod Hostel are relocating to -

1002 Willoughby Ave

Brooklyn, NY 11221

!!!!!!

*soul crushingly small. Cockroaches optional.

**Illegally. Investigations are underway. Management company done goofed.

***One became a very close friend. One moved out after 2 months.