Things that lasted longer than Brock Turner's sentence

My current bottle of Head and Shoulders shampoo

That time I tried to be a vegan

The bottle of sriracha in my fridge

That weird relationship I had junior year in college

The average life span of a praying mantis (hey Brock, did you know that female mantis’ rip the heads off men during sex?)

The time we spent quoting Rebecca Black on Friday

Kim Kardashians engagement to Kris Humphries

A semester at SCAD

That time I binged watched all of Gossip Girl

My college unpaid summer internship

The time it took to teach myself how to make macarons

The gestation period of a domestic goat

And basically every conviction of the 3% of rapists that ever see jail time.

*Added: "I've kept track of a bobby pin for longer." - Rachel B