LIFE OF A HIP OP STAR

Hip surgery at 22 just wasn’t the plan. I was supposed to graduate, move to a tiny room in a big city, run around in too-high heels and waste money on G&T’s and cover charges. Those plans had to wait. After a year of chronic aches and pains, I caved. My parents, now orthopedic surgery post-op pros -thanks to Grant- packed the car and set off to Vail, Colorado. (Rewind for a moment. My mysterious pain in my hips and knees took 5 doctors and 6 months to diagnose. Too much horseback riding + a few bad falls + exercise and running + genetically unlucky hips = labral tears with CAM impingement and extra femur growth. Lindsay the Horseback Rider has died.) After a year of a sloth-like lifestyle, I couldn’t wait to get this surgery done.

The last thing I remember was the spinal epidural. Summary: damn, that hurt. 3 hours later, I was in a post-op room, negotiating with a nurse over the quantity of butter noodles I had to eat. ‘Twas a long and sleepless night, god bless the nurse who entertained me when I couldn’t sleep. I was finally sent home the next day. Horizontal life wasn’t so bad the first day. But the fun had just begun. The epidural needle left a perforation, letting spinal fluid slowly leak after surgery. 2 days post-op, I couldn’t lift my head without excruciating pain. Back to the hospital we went. The fix? Take 30 cc’s of blood from my arm (a monumental task for a dehydrated, altitude sick sass queen with baby veins) and inject the blood into my spine (Ouch. Ouch. OUCH.) To Linda in the OR: I’m so sorry for every obscene word I said. I didn’t mean it. Forgive me please.

5 weeks of “character building” followed: sleeping in machines, hobbling on crutches like Quasimoto, trying to shave my legs (read: razorblade yoga), physical therapy and washing my hair only out of absolute necessity. I couldn’t do it without my incredible family and friends. Sometimes, these dumb life events can really teach you something. My take-aways:

1.     Strangers are kinder when you’re on crutches. We should all hold doors and smile at people without needing a reason.

2.     Parents are great. No, seriously. Freaking great.

3.     Post physical therapy margaritas are an important part of the healing process.

4.     There’s always positivity to be found, even if you’ve gotta look hard for it.

5.     Check in with friends often. A positive message can go a long way :)