I documented my behaviors, feelings, times, and surroundings for each painting in an
attempt to find a connection between color, expression, and attitude towards each piece.
Drank 3 glasses red wine
Spilled some wine on the canvas, covered it with black
Started at 10:15 PM after a bad date
Fell asleep on the tarp
I went on a tinder date in January with a boy who stood me up three days prior but swore he was sorry. Lucky for him, whose name is long gone, complacency was my specialty. He was pale and thin and nothing like his photos. Maybe he was tired. Maybe he was strung out. He asked me if I believed in good and evil between louder than average slurps of lemongrass chicken pho. I thought I felt a spray of broth as he spoke through his wiry beard. I ate at a pace that was hard to ignore and bolted, claiming I had a work deadline so absolutely pressing that it tore me from dinner after 26 minutes of conversation. I went home and cried for the first time in three months. Whatever.
Painted because it was snowing
Started at 3PM
Gave up for a while. Finished it the next day.
There were two snow days in Bushwick, but a better term for it would be tear-your-arm-off-blizzard no-hope-in-sight tarp-your-windows-so-snow-doesn't-get-in days. I painted this next to a slow forming pile of snow forming under my AC unit. This painting still reminds me of the tree in front of our apartment blowing so hard in the wind that we were afraid it would snap and go through our window.
Drank cheap beer, a little drunk
3 people were in my living room
Started at 9PM
Painted because the tarp was already down
I painted this while watching Split, that one movie about the kidnapper-killer with multiple personalities. There were three people with me, we were drinking Bud Light and eating hummus and pita and pausing the movie intermittently to converse about unimportant things. I felt nothing, portrayed nothing, this painting says nothing.
Painted on a roof
Started 12:30 PM
Forced myself to get out of the apartment
Once I lived with a girl named Jess that moved a mean cat and a meaner Russian man into our apartment. I lived on roofs and the coffee shop called Little Skips and bars in Williamsburg and I'd ride the J train past my stop just to burn a little more time before going to the apartment. Some problems can be fixed, this wasn't one of them. I pretended that everything was okay because I'm good at that. Maybe that's why I used such happy colors.